He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
