i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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