one might say we're banned from that church
smell my finger.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
