no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
