I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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