It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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