No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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