just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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