i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
