dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize