I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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