best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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