oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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