You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
