week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
