Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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