HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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