I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
