Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i drank out of a bidet.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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