I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
