Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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