im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
