I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
