on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
