I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
