I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
