North Korea, Best Korea!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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