Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
we should paint friendship bongs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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