I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
