This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
