mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
its not stalking. its research.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize