i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize