i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
They have beer where we have blood.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
