He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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