I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
