he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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