I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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