Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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