i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
