Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
