She announced her abortion via fbk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
