Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
