Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
