My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
