playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
