are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Randomize
