her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
