my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
