You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
