It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
