I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
