Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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