Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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