:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
