I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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