Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
