First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
