I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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