Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
