capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Even my vagina gasped.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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