the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
