need another drink. this is the easiest way
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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