ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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