sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize